Up a Notch Racism

I do not like the Rumor Queen. I do not like the site. However, I visit and read the posts and discussions. I need the information and for now the China Adopt Talk site is where people go to share information regarding China adoption. It bothers me that I have to visit that site to get information, but so be it. Why do I read the discussions? I sometimes wonder.

I checked out some of the blogs that were referenced on the Rumor Queen forum regarding "racism". They are mostly blogs by trans- racial adoptees. They experience and describe a peculiar form of racism that results form having internalized the persona of the "superior race"growing up, but are then regarded by the rest of the world as NOT of the "superior race". By definition, what ever amount of racism these individuals experience, it has to be more than what their parents/families experience (which is none), because their parents are of the "superior race" themselves. That is distinctively different from the typical immigrant experience where the second generation tend to be better assimilated and experience less "racist moments" than their parents and are constantly reminded by their parents how lucky they are to be able to grow up in America. After reading these blogs, it is understandable that the white adoptive parents worry about the racial discriminations that their children are likely to face yet that themselves have no experience with. How can they help their children? Unfortunately, how some of these trans-racial adoptive parents (the Rumor Queen type) address that concern is often offensive and racist in the extreme. Why they need to claim superiority on a problem (racial discrimination) that's better left unexperienced and of which they lack any perspective on is really kind of strange.There is no pride in being discriminated against, really, I kid you not.

For starters, It's all about Them. (A pretty universal complaint regarding racism from all parties involved.) They are concerned about racism toward female Asian Americans only because they have adoptive children from China (or substitute Asian country of your choice). They don't care "sh*t" about Asians Americans or any other racial minorities for that matter. They may pretend they do, and sometimes they pretend so hard they convince themselves but nobody else. The "other minorities" exist to serve as examples for them to make a point. It's always if a black person this or if a black person that. Personally, if I were black, I would get pretty p*ssed at being the "gold standard" for other minorities. Why don't they use themselves as examples? After all, white Americans have many negative stereotypes of their own, and in case they haven't noticed, they are not the majority or superior race where their daughters came from. What infuriates me the most is how readily they gang up to stump on any Asian that gets in their way to eradicate racism for their daughters, even when they are wrong (spoken from personal experience by the way). They can't seem to grasp that not everything that distinguish a person as Chinese is bad, not every un-American trait is a negative stereotype, and not everybody wants to be "colorless".

They are pretty brutal with fellow white citizens who have not immersed themselves in the trans-racial adoptive culture as well. Why can't people just educate themselves for my family's sake is sort of the attitude. Why can't people treat us just like everyone else but behave with impeccable sensitivity around my children because they are not white and are obviously adopted? Really one does feel sorry for the children. But the self-righteousness of the parents is not justified. If they really care that much about "The Children", then don't adopt them, just donate the money so they can stay with their biologic family or at least lead a good life in their own country. The amount of money spent on these children on a daily basis in America will more than compensate for permanent foster families who may even be the children's biologic extended families. If , like us, you adopt because of your own selfish needs to love and beloved, internationally because of its relative ease compared to domestic adoption, at least have the tolerance to put up with the imperfect world as you suffer it because you created it yourself. Occasionally, one also hear from trans racial adoptive parents who adopt as a part of their efforts to combat racism, prevent population growth, or avoid childbirth...and China because they have always been drawn to it ever since they were little girls (growing up in Kansas?). That would be during the cultural revolution when China was CLOSED to the world and its own past! What were they being drawn by?

These white adoptive parents insist that because they have researched and read all about racism toward female Asian Americans, they understand it better than the oblivious Asian American women themselves. Yes, they claim to feel my pain more than me, and they are also entitled to tell me what I should and should not find offensive or discriminatory!? The presumption and arrogance of these white women are mind boggling to someone who has never had the privilege to be of the "superior race".

Striking are these women's obvious resentments toward Asian American women who refuse to subscribe to the white agenda. They have no problems with Asians whom they regard as foreign. Chopsticks, Chinese food, Chinese folklore are all to be embraced and respected for their foreignness. They are all too willing to take on the White Men's or Women's burden. They just can't stomach Chinese Americans who don't share their feelings but are just as American as they are. They are worse than people who harbor racism based on ignorance, or are just ignorant period. These are intelligent and articulate people with influence who exercise the White Person's prerogative when they are threatened by others who are different but equally powerful. I do realize that the "all must think and feel just like me and nothing I say, think, or do can be wrong" is a personality disorder that exist in all races, not just people "without color". But when these people happen to be white and decide to combat racism, they have just taken racism to the next level, a much more subversive and dangerous realm. Now imaging little Chinese girls growing up calling these people mommy. They may love you, but they really wish deep down that you are "colorless". Nevertheless, they love you despite all that because they are such wonderful colorblind human beings...and when you run in to other Chinese women, just assume that they don't know anything about China, being Chinese or Chinese American, certainly not as much as your mommy who puts you in Chinese school and has the money to take you (back?) to China for heritage tours every year. Many Chinese immigrants have to save up for years to go back home you know, so how can they understand China like my family? Besides Chinese people in America don't seem to like me very much, wonder why?

Failing to acknowledge that they are indeed privilege to be white in America, lacking the humbleness to admit that they can not always understand other people's sufferings make them think that they are so special that their children should be exempted from the price of immigration that every immigrant and their children have to pay. Loss of culture, loss of biologic extended family, loss of the certainty of belonging are not unique to their children but are the accepted price immigrants, their children, and their children's children all pay...mitigated only when they become equal parts of the American society, when their race is no longer viewed as a liability, dissolved though not necessarily resolved when completely assimilated and intermarried. So what motivates the Rumor Queen and her likes to reinforce to an Asian woman that being Asian is and always will be a liability in America even when that Asian woman argued (uncharacteristically) with them that need not be so? Pure, simple, unadulterated racial superiority?

Why I read the Rumor Queen? Because it allows me to better understand how racism really manifests itself in America. They have convinced me that racism is rampant in America and infiltrates into every aspects of our lives.