Problems and Delays

Received this reply when emailed USCIS regarding our I-600A application:


Your home study was reviewed on July 19, 2007. It was rejected due to the following:

The home study did not include a summary of the counseling to prepare the prospective adoptive parents regarding post-placement requirements. In addition, the home study did not include any discussion regarding expenses, difficulties, and delays associated with international adoptions.

Your home study worker, Sara Grepke, was contacted regarding sending in an updated home study to reflect the above.

Thank you,

Lisa Ubaldo


Talked to our social worker who was contacted by Hand in Hand yesterday. She will be sending in the required update tomorrow. A mere technicality of a single sentence apparently which was left out because she was not familiar with the Chicago office.

Am I frustrated yet? Not quite. Just disappointed that we won't be getting the I-171H this week after all.

Is Hand in Had inapt? I don't think so. Things of this nature probably happens regularly given that they have to deal with offices in different states all the time. They just resolve it as it happens I am sure.

My mantra for adoption paperwork: It's not personal, we are just a pile of papers to be processed. Checked every two weeks for problems until the baby is home...then forget about it.

A Lazy Summer's Day

I washed the kids twice today, not because they were dirty, but because I ran out of things to do with them. Mondays and Tuesdays are my "days off" so I really try to make these days as "educational" or at least, as TV free as possible.

Bo and I dropped Yeh Yeh off for her individual "enrichment session" at her school this morning. (I don't think her teacher gets paid by the school in the summer, so this is her "summer job".) To kill off 1/2 an hour, we grabbed some coffee/chocolate milk and donuts at a nearby cafe. Afterwards the two of them played at the playground for another 1/2 hr, we then stopped at my office to turn in my billing from last week.

The rest of the morning was spent at Stone Lake beach. We had a picnic by the lake, played in the water, and ate ice cream before heading home. Jamie (my babysitter) and I congratulated ourselves on a great outing without mishaps, washed them, then put them down for their afternoon nap.

What to do after nap was more problematic. We tried the backyard play set, watering the plants, driveway chalk, blowing bubbles, and crashing down the driveway really really fast in the red plastic car. After the stunt act, I canceled the planned picnic on the driveway with gold fish and watermelon and bathed them again, for an hour. I can only enjoy our driveway for so long.

Summer dinner in the country is a casual affair. Gold fish for Bo then pizza two hours later, cheese stick and Strawberry Yogurt Burst Cheerios for Baby, and ramen noodle 泡麵 for Yeh. I know what you are thinking, but I put flax seed oil in it at least. Later tonight I 'll popped a few uncrushed gold fish from the floor into my mouth as I clean up, eat the rest of the cheese stick that Baby can't get out out of the wrapper, and polish off the left over noodle soup that Yeh grudgingly allowed me to save for myself. I hope Scott is not planning on eating dinner tonight. He claims to have a stomach flu so he can hide in the bedroom to read the last Harry Potter book. He can always have bagel with humus and dried mango if he gets hungry, but then he would be busted. I already read the end of the book.

Tomorrow we will go to the county fair in the morning, and Yeh has ballet in the evening, another fun filled day.

I can't wait for Wednesday morning -when I go back to work.

Flatland

Disclaimer: These are not conclusions drawn from a deep understanding of mathematics and physics. These are flights of fancy from watching too much Star Track.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatland

As an adoptive parent, I sometimes wince when people tell me that my daughter is "lucky". It is indisputable that all of my children are "lucky" kids. After all, not only do they not know disease or hunger, they haven't even experienced life without climate control. So, why do I feel the need to mumble back, "but it is I who is lucky" when people tell me that my daughter has "good fate 好命"? Because, it means that in some ways, she was rescued, therefore indebted, hence not as entitled to her current life as her rambunctious, and ever-so- demanding brothers?

Curious as well, are the feeling that many adoptive mothers share, that we are somehow, on some level, responsible for not having been there from the beginning. No one claims that to be a logical feeling, and for some it's not just a wistful longing for q 2 hour feedings....but a conviction that these children were ours, from the beginning, and we should have been able to conquer the time space continuum to, well, rescue them earlier! It is just a part of our job description as parents to rescue our own children, any of them.

There was the true story of a courageous mother cat that went into a burning house again, and again, and again, until all her kittens were rescued. (They all survived, thank goodness). There are also, the many colorful China adoption journals, blogs, and You-Tube videos. For our own family, The China Adoption trip was my husband's "best vacation ever". He and my parents flew business class as was the"norm" for China adoption at the time (why?), toured Beijing for a few days, stayed at carefully selected (by me) five star hotels, and dined at the most prestigious restaurants (my father's dream), while picking up our dear daughter. My daughter may have suffered, but heroes we were not to her, more like, tardy parents not too swift with paperwork? If she could have spoken on Gotcha day, she would have asked, "and what took you guys so long?".

There was the twin paradox, now for me is the adoption paradox that exist because as humans we are only able to perceive time as a linear dimension. So, perhaps, my daughter is lucky the same ways her brothers are, no more, and definitely no less. And if my children want to grow up feeling grateful for their blessings, and feel responsible for their parents, so much the better for me and my husband. Filial piety is very important to the Chinese, let's keep that tradition going.

So, what's that got to do Flatland? Well, it may be that we are stuck in our version of Flatland where the reality of our existence is "underestimated" by infinite degrees. When we are no longer bond by the constraint of time and space, our love for one another also becomes "omniscient and omnipresent", when we reconcile ourselves with God.